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Dear Abby . . .
Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what
could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that
my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My
wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their
names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always
walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has
gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I
once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went
berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why
was I checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down
I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and
I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the
garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole
street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my
Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be
leaking a little oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?
Thanks,
Worried in Texas
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Never Lie to Mother...
Brian invited his mother over for dinner.
During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice
how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was.
Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between them.
This only made her more curious. Over the
course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to
wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you
must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since
your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful
silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just
to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mom:
I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the
house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But
the
fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for
dinner.
Love, Brian"
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that
read:
"Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jennifer! I'm not
saying that you "do not" sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains
that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the
gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom"
LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
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